I've been pondering on this as it is a) more fun than pondering about financial forecasts; b) requires some - ahem- visual research of various Hot Men in order to assess what they're wearing (honest!) and c) because it's such a variable response.
What a male can wear to make himself more attractive is wholly dependent on the particular female's interests. What appeals to one might not appeal to the next. As such, trying to second guess is to be doomed to failure. Instead, focus on the universals - those things that all girls find abhorrent. Avoid those and you'll be part of the way there. I'm not going to lie and say girls don't judge on clothes - we do. But we also know that if you're worth bothering with, once you go out with us the only thing we can change about you is your clothes.
1. Don't wear holey/smelly/dirty/ill fitting underwear
Ugh. This pretty much goes without saying. You keep your most precious item in your pants so treat it with respect. No holes. No smells. No dirt. Not too tight. Not too baggy.
Do this, or similar, and you'll be fine. After all, we spend ludicrous amounts on frivolous underwear, the least you can do in return is spend a little on keeping your pants nice.
This goes for socks as well.
2. Don't wear skinny jeans
I used to think this was just a phobia I had but no - lots of women find the sight of a grown man in skinny jeans truly repellent. There are several reasons for this:
- Where the hell have you put it?? Honestly, where is your penis? If you can squeeze into jeans that tight and have nothing to show then you're either really uncomfortable or there's not a lot there to begin with. Either way, we don't want to go out with a living replica of a Ken doll....
- It's grossly unfair that you can fit into jeans several sizes smaller than we can. Not only does this remind us of any residual weight issues we may have but (to my mind anyway) also brings up the thought that we might break you if we got down and dirty. Unattractive on so many levels.
- You look like you want to be Pete Doherty/Johnny Borrell? They went out with Kate Moss/Kirsten Dunst? Wow, good argument because they're women who look hot all the time right? No. Doherty/Borrell just look plain unclean all the time. And their personality traits are highly questionable. That you want to emulate them tells us everything we need to know.
3. Don't wear obvious comedy slogan tees
It only tells us you have a dubious sense of humour. Or that you're a frat boy. Neither is a Good Look. We don't care if you're with Stupid or that you found a play-on-words Coke/Coca-Cola that involved cocks. It's not funny, clever and does not render you as funny or as clever as you think you are.
4. Make sure your clothes fit/are the right length
Just like there's nothing more unsightly on a woman than ill-fitting clothes, same goes for a man. It doesn't take a lot to try something on so please, do it. Also make sure that sleeve and trouser lengths are appropriate. There's something slightly sad and highly annoying about a trouser leg that is an inch too short or too long. If you don't care about getting these simple details right then what's to say you care about anything else?
5. Don't wear overt jewellery
You may think your display of bling will bring the girls to your yard. No, no it won't. It just looks kinda cheap and tacky. The only bling girls are interested in on you are a wedding ring (don't panic - only to check if you are already married - they don't want to be your bit on the side) and a watch. A nice watch though, nothing diamond encrusted. Again, tacky.
6. Don't wear inappropriate shoes
It's already established that women place some importance on shoes. So wear some appropriate to the occasion. We don't really care if all you have is one pair of sneakers and one pair of 'smart' shoes - wear appropriately. Date at the pub - sneakers. Date at a nice restaurant - 'smart' shoes.
So that's the basics on what not to wear. Converting that into what should you wear - clean clothes that fit you and reflect your personality. Those clothes you feel most comfortable in.
And the one thing that always works? A man in a well fitting tux. Every time. Why else did you think James Bond was so popular?...."
